Drink This – You’ll Hate It Then Love It.

The first time I had a taste of Kombucha, I felt a horrible sting and stench in my mouth, as though drinking acid mixed with vinegar, fermented with rotten guavas with a hint of extracted foot odor.  Needless to say, I was not fond of it.  At all.  I bought my first one, a strawberry GT’s Raw Organic Kombucha (which I was told to be the “sweetest” and “the first one you should try”), at Raleigh Hill’s New Season’s Market.  I paid for it and sat outside, ready for enlightenment.  I was told by hundreds of customers and friends that this drink, this Kombucha tea, this cultured mushroom, was all the rave and has been for a decade.  I wondered which rock I was hiding beneath, not knowing of its existence all these years.  I was excited.  I was excited to love it and gain clarity and health and a boost in my immune system, and all the wonderful effects it’s been claimed to have for the human body.  Oh, I was ready.

Photo: Mel & Rose

Photo: Mel & Rose

What I wasn’t ready for, though, was my disgust in it.  I tried drinking it all, but only drank about half.  I thought, Right.  All these health foodies don’t really like it, and make it out to be a delicious drink just to be cool.  Just to fit into the “Oh, I’m such a health food addict that I actually LIKE the taste of disgusting fermented mushroom tea drinks!” It seemed like a competition: how far can you go to prove to your other health foodie friends that you’re a bigger health foodie than the others?  Try drinking Kombucha, I told myself.  Those idiots.  Just a big hype.  Pretending to like it!  Pretending, just like they pretend to get a “high” whilst running a marathon, or biking uphill for 5 miles, or actually liking the way sea sponge tampon (hey, Jade & Pearl, I do love you!) feels.  It was the mother of all natural claims – Kombucha.  Tsk.  Forget it.

And then a funny thing happened.  I passed by the aisle again and saw GT Dave’s Synergy and its beautiful packaging and bright colors flirting with me.  I picked up the disgusting glass bottle and studied the drink.  All that fermentation floating around.  But I kept thinking of everybody’s supposed “love” and “addiction” for it:

“Oh. My. God!  I’m totally going to have to get a second job to support my Kombucha addiction.”

If I got a penny every time I heard a reference to Kombucha’s price and their addiction towards it, I’d be a rich woman (and able to afford a GT’s Synergy twice a day).  To be fair, they’re pricey: $2.99, sometimes $3.49.

But back to me flirting with the Synergy drink (or was it the other way around)?  I ended up buying it, and I’m not kidding you.  It took me two days to drink it, but from that moment on, I was hooked.  Line.  And sinker. I was in love with it, and completely not proud to admit it to anybody else, after giving so much flack to all the Kombucha-drinking crazies out there.  But it happened.  I became a Kombucha junkie.  I seriously recall even going as far as saying, “Wow.  I need to find a way to afford my Kombucha drinking.”

I’ve actually come to a point in my Kombucha-drinking existence where I slowed way down and stopped buying so many.  And I did the next thing Kombucha addicts do: I made my first batch at home.

Until then, I bid all you Kombucha-drinking citizens farewell, and as for all you Kombucha-hating individuals, I understand.  I was right there with you.  And for all you “What’s-Kombucha” people, well, then.  Let me tell you: try it.

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2 thoughts on “Drink This – You’ll Hate It Then Love It.

  1. Oh, I know Sadie. And you want to know something sadder than a Kombucha addiction? When they’ve been taken off the shelves for “further investigation” re: alcohol content. Millennium kombucha’s distributors have pulled every bottle off the shelf, and there will be NO kombucha until investigation has been settled. Sad, hmm?

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